You fall down, you get back up again..

This past week was a giant F-A-I-L! Wow, I didn't even see it coming...Except that the header on my devotional Monday am read "Preparing for the Attack." Holy cow...not a coincidence! lol

     It went on to talk about how there's a lot of stress involved with starting a new venture by the sheer amount of work you have to put into it but there's also a lot of emotional and spiritual stress involved. "The closer you get to completion or lasting eternal impact, the more spiritual attacks you should expect." 

     It Highlights 4 kinds of attacks to watch out for.

~Physical setbacks: Satan loves to rob us of our effectiveness by unexpected illness or simply irritating physical problems, like a backache, or waking up with your eye swollen shut, falling down steps!!! etc...

~Technical setbacks: a computer problem, flooding in your basement, your car breaking down!! ( I'm getting mad just thinking about the issues that not only me but my friends have dealt with recently!!!)

~Preoccupation: being preoccupied will make you more likely to run out of gas, drop/lose your phone, forget to lock you doors etc...  It says that satan was an angel who got off track, so his favorite tool is getting us off track with him. I HATE this because it works for me so I need to find a way to gain AND KEEP my focus better!  

~Heaviness of heart: The devo says this one is the most common, and the hardest to pinpoint. It's an overwhelming heaviness that feels like the weight of the world is on your shoulders. a feeling of oppression that you don't understand. It could be a feeling that you're battling something evil or just having depression that you don't know where it came from. OR just a bunch if down days...whatever. 

"The first step out of the attack is to identify the irritation or setback as an attack."

  This all makes sense because I've been asked to step out of my comfort zone in leadership in a bunch of areas recently. As I've struggled with whether to do them or not, I keep coming back to my vow with God when I moved and this new church started, to be obedient with whatever was asked of me no matter how I felt about it. God has proven that He will use me as long as I'm willing to be the vessel time after time. So I really need to be prayed up and just keep pushing through I guess.

  So yeah, last week was a total bust but this morning I felt like God was saying I really need to lose the all or nothing mentality because even though I feel like it was a total fail, He's reminding me there were good moments and good decisions. I guess I need to focus on the good things, one moment/meal at a time and not the day or week as a whole.

weight loss journey

Well, tomorrow is the day. Yet another step on my journey to lose 100+ lbs. Each day is a new day with no mistakes...until you start breathing that is. haha June was a blur. A wonderful blur but alas, a whirlwind of activity and nevertheless there was no plan of action. No preparation or real focus of any kind for healthy eating or exercise. Thank God His mercies are new every day. SO, tomorrow is a brand new day and hopefully I don't blow it. I know that's not a good way to start..hoping not to fail...but in truth I don't FEEL mentally prepared or motivated at THIS point. Who knows by tomorrow. 

It's kind of like cleaning my house. I don't feel like it very often but when I DO, it's like hold the phone and watch her go! I am a woman on a mission and can accomplish great things! ...WHEN my mind is made up and I go for it! So it's kind of the same thing with weight loss. When my mind is made up and I'm mentally on the right track I CAN do it. It just takes awhile to get there. God help me get there!

Guitar lessons

This month at the Urbana campus, Daniel and Stefan are offering Worship Guitar 101 for all those who want to learn how to play. It's every Thursday night 6:30-8:30 and it's FREE! I was so excited and even more so now! Our first lesson was this past week and I feel really good about it! I originally wanted to have learned to play by my birthday so I'm a little behind but it's all good. After just 1 1/2 hrs of teaching I can play 2 songs, albeit SLOWLY and out of time. haha I'm loving it and am feeling a real sense of accomplishment at learning something new and reaching one of my goals. :) ps. my fingers are killing me!!

JUNE!!!

I cannot believe that I didn't blog at all the whole month of June. That's just ludicrous. Well let me sum  it up for you! 

Week 1 - Carolyn and I went home for the week and had a lot of fun. I didn't make any plans with other friends while I was home, I spent the whole time with mom, and the girls, and the kids of course. I had one fight with Ems while I was at home and a semi-argument with Annie so that sucked but it also made us talk through some things and MAYBE understand each other better...I hope. All in all it was a very relaxing week and we had a lot of fun! :) I came home to a clean house in addition to wine, chocolate and flowers, all thanks to my wonderful husband! It was a WONDERFUL surprise! I lOVE when he thinks of me and does things for me that make me feel special and loved. :) He's a keeper

The next week was spent unpacking and trying to get back in the grove of things but I didn't do anything but work basically. No working out, etc...  The next weekend, Andi and Megs came over and we had a good time together.

The following Tuesday LAURI surprised me by flying in for a WEEK for my birthday, so that was AWESOME!!!! I was sick for three out of the 4 weeks in June so that was a pisser but Lauri and I still had a wonderful time together...watching tv (got her hooked on a few shows he he), reading, laying by the pool every other day, we had a great time just BEING together. I loved having her here but it went by WAY too fast! Should've been 2 WEEKS!!!! :D   

That Saturday they celebrated my B-day and it was well...not the best birthday ever but DEF fun! The important ppl were there for most of the day and Tanya and Lamar came in for my b-day as well so that was AWESOME!!!! I was super stoked to hear they were coming and couldn't wait to hang out with them. That meant a lot to me. :) 

Since I didn't know Lauri was coming I hadn't cleaned so after she left I started cleaning the house and FINALLY got it back to where I could enjoy my house. :) We had a small group cook out that week on Thursday night, and Nick and Mandie's Friday night for a fire pit. 

The next and final week of June was spent working, cleaning and preparing for mom and dad coming into town on July 1st. 

So see how June just FLEW by?! It was crazy! So much was packed into it...so many good times and moments shared with friends. June was awesome. I loved it