Upside down

Why is it that as soon as you start to get it together, or are heading in the right direction...you lose it. I was feeling great. I just blogged like 100 verses for crying out loud! I felt like I had a handle on things and right about the time I felt like OK, I can do this, I started feeling completely overwhelmed, out of control, emotionally unstable. AND I DON'T LIKE IT! I'm not talking about weight issues for once. I'm talking about my schedule for the next 2 weeks. I'm freaking out. Why?! I don't know! Impending T.O.M. maybe...probably. But in this moment I don't feel like I can handle it. I just want to jump ahead to May 30th. I'm pretty sure these fears are irrational but right now they totally feel legit. Ugh I just hate how quickly a day or a minute can turn around with just one call, text, or THOUGHT! Maybe I'll go back and read those verses I just posted or better yet look up some more. HAH! Right back atcha devil!!

Inspiration

Here are some verses that I'm using to persevere in my journey to get healthy in mind, body and soul. :) Hopefully they inspire you too.  The different versions of very familiar verses really help to make them personal to me.

~"No test or temptation that comes my way is beyond the course of what others have had to face. All you need to remember is that God will NEVER let you down. He'll never let you be pushed past your limit, he'll always be there to help you come through it." 1 Cor. 10:13 (MSG)   (He'll provide a way out!) 

~"I do not regard myself as having laid hold of "it" yet; but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on to the goal for the prize...I'm off and running & I'm not looking back." Phil 3:13-14 (NASB/MSG)

~"Just because something is technically legal doesn't mean it's spiritually appropriate. If I went around doing whatever I thought I could get by with, I'd be a slave to my own whims. I must not become (mastered) a slave to anything. 1 Cor. 6:12 (MSG/NLT)

~"ALL THINGS are possible to those who believe." Mark 9:23b

~"An appetite for good brings much satisfaction, but the belly of the wicked ALWAYS wants MORE." Prov. 13:25 (MSG)

~"I know the One in whom I trust and I am sure that He is able to guard what I have entrusted to him until the day of day of his return." 2 Tim. 1:12b

~"So now there is NO condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus. And because you belong to Him, the power of the life-giving Spirit has FREED you from the power of sin which leads to death." Rom. 8:1-2 (NLT)

~"We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ." 2 Cor. 10:5 (NIV)

~"Why do you spend your money on junk food, your hard-earned cash on cotton-candy. Listen to me, listen well: Eat only the best, fill yourself with only the finest. Is. 55:2b (MSG) The NLT says, "Why do you spend your money on food that does not give you strength."

~"Then you will experience for yourselves the truth, and the truth will set you free." John 8:32 (MSG)

~"Or didn't you realize that your body is a sacred place, the place of the Holy Spirit? Don't you see that you can't live however you please, squandering what God paid such a high price for? The physical part of you is not some piece of property belonging to the spiritual part of you. God owns the whole works. So let people see God in and through your body." 1 Cor. 6:19-20 (MSG)

~"My counsel is this: Live freely, animated and motivated by God's Spirit. Then you won't feed the compulsions of selfishness." Gal. 5:16 (MSG) The NLT says, "So I say, let the Holy Spirit guide your lives. then you won't be doing what your sinful nature craves."

~"Keep a cool head. Stay alert. The devil is poised to pounce and would like nothing better than to catch you napping." 1 Pet 5:8 (MSG)

~"Search me O God and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. Point out anything that offends You and lead me along the path of everlasting life." Ps. 139:23-24 (NLT)

~"God can do anything, you know-far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it, not by pushing us around but by working within us, His Spirit deeply and gently within us." Eph 3:20 (MSG)

~"So here's what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life-your sleeping, eating, going to work, and walking-around life- and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for Him." Rom 12:1 (MSG)

~" I will be fully satisfied as with the richest of foods; With singing lips my mouth will praise You." Psalm 63:5 (NIV)

~"A hostile world! I call to God to help me. From his palace he hears my call; My cry brings me right into His presence- A private audience." Psalm 18:6 (MSG)

~" I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Phil 4:12-13 (NLT/NASB)

Self-Discipline

Eric and I were talking last night about discipline, whether it's learning to play guitar, drums, eating healthy, exercising, etc... It could be anything. As we were talking he went and grabbed this book that he's been reading, handed it to me and told me to start reading a particular section that's been challenging him. I did and 10 min when he came back I was sitting there with a pen and notebook in hand taking notes. Obviously I was challenged too! ;) Here are some notes:

"The most reliable evidence for the power of self-discipline is to observe the wreckage caused by it's absence."    How true?! He talked about what if you don't FEEL like doing something. Can you MAKE yourself do something you don't want to do? Absolutely! He says, "How you behave or act, ultimately controls how you FEEL." So, figure out what you WANT: to play an instrument, to be happy, to be healthy, to be free from bondage, etc...Find the end result that you want. Then "discipline yourself to act in the manner in which you WANT to FEEL."

How often do we go by how we feel vs how we want to be?! Our feelings are wishy-washy. Not that they aren't valid, but they won't get us anywhere. Definitely not where we want to go. Don't rely on them.

Figure out what you want, how you want to feel, how you want to look, what you want to do....then DO IT. Pretend you're already there. lol  This challenged me so I thought I'd share. :)

weight frustration. Can I catch a break?!?

Right now I'm feeling like I take 1 step forward and 2 steps back. I've made changes in my eating and I'm not seeing changes. I actually did think I felt a difference in my pants on Wed but the scale didn't show it and although i know that's not what you should be tracking, I can't help it! I joined the fitness center in Tuscola on Tues and I really like it. It's small but the machines are great and classes and online food tracking is included. I don't know if I'll utilize that but I like the fitness center. 

     I guess I'm just trying not to get discouraged and to keep going. I prob need to make bigger changes but I wanted to start small so it wouldn't be too overwhelming and quit. God help me persevere...

     I'm also praying about another job. I had my second interview at Lane Bryant yesterday and they're supposed to let me know today if I got it. I'm just not sure if this is a good thing or not. They pay better than Old Navy, but may not give me the flexibility O.N. does. Pray for me if you think about it. Eric and I have been talking (not enough praying) about it and are trying to decide if it'd be a good fit.

FRIENDS

Close friends are hard to come by. 

They let you bare your heart without apology or fear of ruining their day. 

They value your thoughts, opinions, and ideas even when they don't agree.

They can agree to disagree. :-/

They are sensitive to your feelings even when they have to be brutally honest and share their heart. 

They correct in love.

They let you share your deepest, darkest secrets and fears without judgment. 

They celebrate your victories and cry with you when you lose.

You can count on them to be honest, loyal, & sensitive. 

They challenge you to be a better you, and encourage you to reach for your dreams.

They will pray for you at a moments notice and continue praying even when you don't ask them to.

They know your real potential. :)They see things in you that you can't see in yourself.

They believe in you. 

They love you even when they don't like you. ;)

You can trust them with your heart.

You don't have to wear makeup or change out of your sweatpants for them to walk around walmart with you. haha I like that one

They are still there when you make the wrong decision and blow it.

Some people never get to experience this kind of friend. I have been blessed to have more than one. I don't know why, but God has given me more than I deserve. You know who you are. To my closest of friends...thank you. Thank you for sharing your life with me and allowing me to be a part of yours. I would not be half the person I am without each of you and what you have added to my life. I love you and pray that I can be the kind of friend that you've been to me. <3

IT'S MAYYYYYYYYYYYY!! That means it's almost summer, WOOHOO! I'm so ready for it...in some ways. Not in the getting in a bathing suit kind of way but in a sun, sand, water, beautiful weather, hanging out OUTSIDE with friends kind of way. :) Cookouts, ice cream, watermelon, cold beer or frosty cocktail by the pool, swimming IN the pool, laying out BY the pool...These are just a few of my favorite summer things. I get excited just thinking about them. :)

My birthday is next month, I'm stoked about that. July 4th is always stinking hot but I <3 the fireworks.

What I'm NOT happy about?? Missing my BFF's grad!! That blows big time BUT I know we'll get to see each other later this summer/fall and we'll get to spend more quality time together then. I have to be ok with that.                   

I love you Lauri! I hope you have a great time at your grad and grad party, and have quality time with your family and friends. :) Cheers to YOU!