My hubby

     What a week! So, the other day one of my dear friends, Angie, called to give me a word and prayed with me over the phone and it meant a lot to me that she would take the time out of her busy day to call and share what God had laid on her heart. Thanks Ang. :) then on Sunday at church there was a word about someone who's having a weight issue SO I went forward during ministry time for prayer and asked Eric if he'd go with me. Ok, it's embarrassing to admit you can't control what you put into your mouth, period. But to admit that to your significant other is very humbling and well, it sucks. I'm very independent. I don't like to admit weakness, OR ask for help (all things that i learned and from the way we were raised. You know, suck it up and deal, basically.) so this process has been very hard, but rewarding for me. 

     Anyway, I got prayer on Sunday and one thing the lady asked me was if I felt like I'd lose myself if I lost weight. Like I'd lose a part of Amy, who I was. She got the feeling that maybe I'm holding onto my weight, not willing to release that part of me for fear I will lose the 'essence' of Amy. Well, I don't know if that's true. I forgot to pray about it so I should probably do that but the next night on the way home from hanging out with 'our couple' (hehe) Eric & I started talking about it and he said he wanted to ask me something but he hesitates to talk about this subject with me because he doesn't want me to think that he wants me to lose weight. He knows how sensitive this issue is to me and he would never judge me for eating something I shouldn't, etc...  I assured him that he has said and proven that he loves me for every inch of who I am and I know he would love me if I never lost a pound. He is truly a one-in-a-million kind of guy and I love him immeasurably. So, he preceded to ask me if I've accepted this weight as who I am and who I'll always be or if I'm ready to say God, I don't accept this, I don't want it and I will stop at NOTHING to overcome this battle. Basically if I'm desperate or have accepted this is how I'll always be. 

     Well, we talked until we climbed into bed then I asked if he'd pray with me about this. I will always treasure that time spent laying on the bed, crying and praying together as we stood in agreement, asking God to come and speak truth to me/us. I love this man so much. He is so sensitive and loving, never caring what I look like on the outside, hot mess or just plain mess. lol He loves me for ME, he calls me beautiful every day, and loves to just hold me in his arms. I couldn't have asked God for a man who loves me more, that's for sure. I'm just so grateful that I could talk openly about this to him. Guys don't really like to talk about food issues and they like confident women. It's hard to be vulnerable and weak in this area but he assured me that he sees my great potential and determination even when i think I have none. He's awesome, so encouraging, and I love him more every day. He is truly a replica of Gods heart when he loves and accepts me so willingly, without wanting anything in return. I felt so light after wards, ironically. I know I weighed the same but it felt like a weight had been lifted. Thank you Jesus for your amazing grace and the peace you give when we come to you liek children.

     I just wanted to share how God brought us even closer this week and how he continues to blow my mind with people coming along side me to encourage and renew my faith and hope. I <3 my man to death and I only hope that i can be that same support system for him that he is to me. I love you babe.